Engagement Rings

In a comment, anonymous asked if I'm a piker (meaning cheap or tight fisted) and commented that I should spend 20% of my yearly salary on an engagement ring and that $5,000 is not a lot of hurt.

My feelings on engagement rings:

1. Read a book on the diamond trade, say Heartless Stone or Last Empire. The fact that we give women a diamond engagement ring is bordering on unconscionable.

2. That said, Em thinks she wants a diamond engagement ring. I defer to her in this decision, though I'm close to the line of objecting on moral principals. But if she wants one, she gets one.

3. The "two months salary" thing is bull shit, total and complete marketing by De Beers. I do not make decisions on what to buy based on the marketing at this level. Telling me what I MUST do is the surest way to make me say, fuck that.

4. Emily is frugal.

5. I'm a spender. But even for me, anything beyond $5,000 is insanely crazy to spend on a ring. Again, fuck that. If she wanted a ring that cost 2 months of my income, well, that would be a deal breaker.

6. I'd rather spend money like that on an experience, e.g., touring Europe, learning to fly, etc.

7. Em and I discussed engagement rings. If she wants a diamond, she's in agreement, $5,000 is the budget. That's a $5,000 ring above. She likes it, I like it.

UPDATE: Just to clarify, we ARE NOT yet engaged. We're in the talking about it stage. It may be awhile, who knows. But that's the path we are on.